You Belong With Me
by neworldiscoverer
Summary: For Swan Queen Week Winter 2015; Day Two- 'You belong with me.' Emma thought it, but did not say it.


**author's note: **_I'm putting my own spin on Swan Queen week, so while you do get a week's worth of AUs, they will all be based on a Taylor Swift song and most likely in a teenaged/college-aged universe. Enjoy, my dears!_

* * *

They get nominated as Cutest Couple.

When Emma saw the photo and caption she turned the yearbook page so fast and hard that it ripped. Ruby doodled a mustache and angry eyebrows in Sharpie marker on his face when she noticed the tear.

Now it's two weeks later and they've broken up. Or, at least they had a decent fight and she'd said that she wanted to break up.

Emma couldn't help the guilty thrill that shot through her when Regina said that, but then the brunette went on: "...but I didn't mean it! I was just upset and not thinking straight! I do want some space, I think it could be a good thing to try, but I don't want to break up with him." She was sniffling again, lying across Emma's bed with her head hanging off the foot of it and Emma sprawled out, face up, on the floor.

Emma kicked the box of tissues off her desk, catching it and then offered it up to Regina with just the corner of her mouth quirked up empathetically. Generally in this kind of conversation Emma played the role of the listener. She was a pro at nodding to show she agreed and responding with an "I know" in all the right places. Sometimes it was because she didn't always feel like she knew what to say, but mostly Emma listened because what she wanted to say wasn't what her best friend wanted to hear so it was safer not to say anything. It was less tempting to say things.

Things like:

'You should break up with him.'

'He's not good enough for you.'

'I don't think you're right for each other.'

'I could treat you better.'

'I'm in love with you.'

Those are all things Emma shouldn't say and so she doesn't. They aren't even true. Except for the last one.

Sometimes Emma wished that she were brave enough to say it. She knows better though. Emma has heard this story before. Every seasoned queer girl has warned her. Don't fall for the straight one. Crushes will happen; lust comes and goes, but whatever you do, do NOT fall for your clearly straight best friend.

Emma had been warned.

Yet here she is.

Regina will never know that Emma Swan is deeply and madly in love with her.

Emma has been making sure of that. It's just hard when Regina is like this, when she is unhappy and sad, when all Emma wants to do is advise her to separate from her boyfriend, never mind that they've been dating since sixth grade and have been voted Cutest Couple with his arm around her waist and her lips pressed to his cheek in a glossy color photo. Never mind that.

Regina doesn't belong with him.

Regina belongs with her.

'You belong with me.'

Emma thought it, but did not say it.

"You should call him," Emma said instead. "When you're calmed down."

Regina dabbed at her eyes and nodded into the crook of her arm, exhaling long and hard.

"You want to go for a walk?" Emma sat up after asking, gathering her hair into a ponytail.

Regina nodded. "The fresh air will be nice," she admitted. Neither of them brought up the fact that it was the middle of the night.

It was only the middle of the night because Regina had driven herself over and knocked on Emma's backdoor in tears. They go outside the same way while Emma tried not to think about opening the door a few hours earlier to the brunette waiting there, stepping across the threshold with red eyes and wet cheeks. Emma tried not to think about that while waiting outside on the stoop, Regina making a stop first in the downstairs washroom. When she appeared and slipped out the door, before she switched the light off, Emma saw that her eyes were clear again, save for a little puffiness and only the skin of her neck was still a little splotchy and pink. Regina had combed her hair, too, but left it down and loose.

They walked with evenly matched strides, Emma in her sneakers and Regina in a close-toed flat tonight, which made her the same height as the blonde for once. After catching Emma glancing at her for a fourth time, Regina asked, "What is it now?"

Emma snorted lightly and side-stepped around a telephone pole. Her hands were shoved into the front pocket of her hoodie, her headphones cord threaded through the neck of it. The earbud nearest Regina, the left one, was dangling free while the other remained securely in Emma's right ear. "Now?" she repeated, "What do you mean, now?"

"It's always something with you, dear." The corners of Regina's eyes crinkled at Emma, but she did not smile.

Emma rolled her eyes good-naturedly at the term of endearment. It was a common one for Regina to use, but one that Emma liked, though she'd probably never admit to it. "What? So I can't just look at you for no reason?" she asked with a challenge to her tone, but one that meant nothing but a little playfulness.

Regina shrugged lightly. "It just seemed like you had a reason." She waved her hand dismissively, fine with discarding the subject if Emma so desired.

Emma smiled and cocked her head to one side, locking eyes with her friend. "Maybe I was just checking to make sure you weren't crying," she said, "because I am an awesome friend like that."

Regina chuckled quietly and Emma was glad that they were passing underneath a streetlight when it happened because she hadn't seen Regina smile, even a small, brief one like that, in a while. "You are a very good friend, Emma..." the brunette said, her voice trailing off curiously.

Emma had just about worked up the courage to call her on it when a cell phone rang.

It was Regina's phone and of course it's him and Regina gave Emma a single hesitant glance before answering, "Daniel."

Emma mashed her left earbud into her ear and walked a little quicker, trying to gain control over the emotions flitting across her face before Regina caught up with her again. She could still hear Regina's voice over her music though she couldn't make out the words.

They are by the park now and the big lights are on, illuminating the grass a neon green. The ultimate frisbee team is practicing and Emma slouched onto one of the benches facing the field, far enough away to be in the shadows, but close enough to watch.

When Regina joined her, she had her phone clutched in her hands, the screen light off as she rotated it around and around.

Emma watched her for a moment, then looked up at Regina's eyes and patted the space beside her on the bench and offered the brunette a smile that isn't returned. "Everything okay?" Emma asked once Regina settled next to her.

Regina's nose scrunched up. She huffed out a sigh and slid her phone back into one of the front pockets of her jeans. "He's pretty hurt by what I said."

Emma picked at the dog hair on her own sweater and scuffed her heels against the ground. Both of her earbuds were out, laying over her chest.

"He doesn't want to break up either." Regina spoke quietly and crossed her legs at the ankles. "I think... I think we'll be okay. We've never taken a break like this before. He said he was willing to try it."

Emma knows that they will be okay. They are the kind of couple that stays together, even after high school. They are the kind of couple that can rightly lay claim to the title of high school sweethearts and Cutest Couple of the class. "You'll be okay," she said to voice her thoughts. Some of her thoughts anyway.

They both lapsed into silence and slide into their own headspaces, watching the frisbee get tossed back and forth, oftentimes with graceful arcs and amazing accuracy. Emma thought she could do pretty well at the sport if she tried her hand at it. In her own mind, Regina thought the same, looking over Emma's fit physique and the way she was leaning forward on the bench, eyes sharp as she watched the players move across the field as a pack.

"Earlier," Regina said and with it broke their comfortable silence with a slight husk to the quality of her voice, "you were going to say something." Emma shook her head, but Regina nodded with purpose. "Before Daniel called," she jogged.

Emma opened her mouth and shut her mouth, without a single word escaping. She leaned back against the hard back of the bench and crossed her arms, allowing her eyes to flick over Regina. The hard line of her lips softened after a beat or two of musing and Emma emitted a sigh that was just a thin exhale of breath. "It's stupid," first she warned in a low voice that made Regina smile again. "I was just... I like you like this. That's all." Emma shrugged and pushed her hands back into her pocket. Then she brought them out and re-crossed them over her stomach, suddenly ruddy cheeked and fidgety.

Regina's face fell into something of a confused frown. "Like...?" she halfway queried and gestured to her face, with its faint tear stains and absence of make up products. One of her shoulders lifted and fell.

Emma wanted to tell Regina that she looks gorgeous. That she always does.

Emma shouldn't tell Regina that she looks gorgeous. That she always does.

Emma doesn't.

"No. Like..." Emma scooted closer, as if the nearness would help her to be better understood. "Like this. In jeans. Normal clothes. You look... comfortable. I like that." She thought that this might be the only pair of jeans that Regina owned because they look soft in the way that denim can only get from being worn repeatedly and there's almost a hole at the side of her left knee.

Normally it''s only Emma who dons t-shirts and skinny jeans while Regina wears high heels and skirts and button down silk blouses to school.

And Regina is captain of the cheer team and always makes honor roll. And Regina is part of homecoming court and the highest scorer in math league. And Regina joins school committees while Emma watches games from the bleachers and gets detention regularly and has to do community service and she only joined the math league because they needed one more member to make a full team and their math teacher said he would let her re-take a test if she did.

But Emma gets Regina's brand of sarcasm and doesn't get hurt by what others might call insults because she knows what Regina's humor sounds like. It's why Emma can make Regina laugh like no one else can. But Emma listens to the kinds of music that Daniel doesn't like. Emma knows which songs are Regina's favorites. When one of them comes on, Emma can push one end of her headphones into Regina's ear. And Regina lets her. But Emma doesn't tell anyone the stories of what Regina's mother did to in her younger years when Regina shares them with her. But Emma keeps Regina's secrets, the dreams Regina has had of leaving this sleepy town, of leaving her mother.

Emma's knee bounced up and down rapidly and stilled only when Regina placed her hand gently against it. She looked up in time to see Regina smile and Emma would swear to you that that smile could light up the whole town, brighter than even the park lights shining down.

Emma wanted to say a lot of things then because she has been here all along, maybe not as long as he has, but long enough. Long enough to feel that she understands Regina better than anyone else in Regina's life right now, and that includes him. Long enough to feel that she knows where Regina belongs. Long enough that she doesn't understand why Regina can't see it, too. They belong as more than this. They belong together.

Emma wished that, just once, all this could have crossed Regina's mind.

Even though she wanted to, Emma did not say anything.

Regina Mills will never know that Emma has fallen in love with her.

Because maybe one day Emma will fall out of love with Regina and moments like this will be easier to bear. Maybe one day this turbulence Emma feels inside of her, this torrent of emotion, will only be a memory. Maybe one day this heartache will only be a dulled sensation within her chest. Maybe one day Emma Swan will not be in love with Regina Mills and she will never need to know because Emma will never need to tell her.

Emma moved her knee away and smiled back and the frisbee team has left and turned off the lights and it is dark again, save for the starlight and Regina's smile.

Maybe one day, but tonight is not that day. That much, Emma does know.


End file.
